Breaking the Silence...a bit at least

So I've been getting yelled at by the two people who read this blog every now and then, so even though I don't have much to talk about, here goes.

I officially switched to a composition major with a minor in business marketing. The idea is that I can graduate and either go straight into studio work, or go get my master's in recording arts/composition (It seems now adays to do one (at least in film score and such) is to do the other) I'm really looking forward to how it goes, and I really hope to be involved with ensemble work throughout. Praise bands, jazz bands, etc. Even though I'm not in a jazz band...yet.

I'm gonna be in one next semester hopefully. I don't see why I wouldn't be though.

So in terms of music, the composition I'm working on right now is in the process of being finished. Which basically means that I'm trying to rework it to be more comprehensible than what I had earlier. Kjartan put me on a great idea by keeping the same melody, but changing the tonality to a major key (for Hailey, this means making it sound happy instead of sad).

In other related news, I hope to be working with a girl from my church back home over Christmas break on recording. It'll be good for both of us, because I need to practice of tracking and mixing and etc, and she needs someone who can do that and give her ideas and such for free. (I truly doubt I'm going to charge.)

So on more of a personal note, God slapped me in the face.

I was deceiving myself. I am deceiving myself. I know I'm not done figuring out all my faults. But luckily I have a God who sees all my faults and can help me get through it for me.

I am judgmental. Prideful. Holier-than-thou.

Lustful. Angry. Bitter (for no good reason).

Fearful. Not trusting. Unloving.

I tend to focus on my actions being wrong instead of my heart being wrong. I'm sick of feeling religious like this. I want to love others like God loves me. Why does it seem so hard to do so?

Prayer seems to be the thing that has gotten me there before.

The times I've been consistent in prayer are the times I think I've been more like God. My question now is....why did I stop praying?

I'm very inconsistent.

I feel like I can't keep a conversation with him for more than five minutes, and when I do talk to him, it's like a laundry list of thank you for this, please help with this, please help so and so with such and such, please help me with x, y, and z. Why this, why that?

Right now my God isn't personal to me.

That scares me, because I know he needs to be.

I want Him to be.

If you have the chance to watch lifechurch's newest message, please do so. Called self-deception. Really good. I really needed it.

Let God search my heart, and help me change it.

Experimenting with Andie

I got to have the great opportunity to have the great Andie Schenk play the cello part I'm working on for my little piece. She was great and had some very valuable insight to give.

That's about it for the song update.

Continued writing

So I'm still writing....slowly. But surely.

I'm finding that the creative process is so strange because you 1) have to try to find the sounds you want and 2) you have to be open to making mistakes and sifting through the ones you want to keep and the ones you don't.

This process is really exciting for me, but very hard because when I have the time to do it, I want to be lazy and not do anything. But I realize that I need to push myself to be better, and the only way to do that is work at it.

Ugh.

On some good news, Jenny decided to start up a bloggish type deal and put up the rough draft as her featured song. That's pretty cool. If she doesn't mind I'll put the link out....not that anybody really reads this blog anyways.

I should get back to writing now. Have fun.

Here We Go

So I've started writing again.

I'm really excited about this one because it's the second consistent melody I've ever written, and I love it very much. Mainly because I don't even know what I'm doing half the time (that's a lie, I understand what I'm doing more now than I did when I wrote it).

It's a slow piece in c minor and then it modulates to a G major or something (I'm not quite sure because of some chromatic chords). I'm looking forward to seeing how it comes about. I'm thinking piano and strings mainly right now, and might not add much else besides maybe some percussion. But don't hold me to that, because I'm just not sure.

The melody, when played up high, sounds like a very sad, melancholy music box melody, and I might try to put that into the piece just cause it sounds cool.

I also have Kjartan's 30 second thing to finish, which shouldn't take too long. I'll post both on myspace when I'm done. the 30 second thing will be done first.

Thanks for reading, and I look forward to unveiling more and writing more.

30 Seconds to Ark

I'm writing a little 30 second didly for Kjartan for a video for entry for an Arkansas/Ole Miss video (could I put more "for"s in ?).

Hailey wanted me to talk about it, so I will.

It's just a simple riff that crescendoes for thirty seconds with a straight drum beat in the back. I'm going to try to make it more interesting, but there's only so much I can do in 30 seconds.

Enjoy.

I'm back.

So I have been "silent" for a bit. Sorry Hailey. Anyway, it's been exciting for me. I just a bought a Vox Night Train amp for pretty cheap. They don't make the speaker the same. It's awesome, I love my new toy. Can't wait to play on it more and get some awesome sounds out of it.

I just recorded a little idea that I'm working on, thought I'd share it. I don't have a title for it, but I like the sound of it so far. We'll see where it goes! You can find it at myspace.com/silenceisimpossible

Anyway, enjoy.

Hacking away.

So today I have decided that I am going to try to start and finish the third movement to the project I'm working on. The frustrating, difficult, and time consuming part is and will be finding the right guitar tone for the job. I am definitely in the beginning learning stages of how to get a good guitar tone, evidenced by the fact that when I try to record my guitar from the amp, I just get a wall of fuzz and no tone. I'm thinking that I will need to start out with no distortion and see how that records, then add a bit more distortion and see how that is, and continue on in that manner until I've found it. (Thank you Hailey for making me do this blog, because I wouldn't have thought of that otherwise).

A couple of musical things I want to share.....

The Rocket Summer's new album "Of Men and Angels" is a great album. I feel like he did a spectacular job with the sound of the album and the lyrical content (not to mention that he plays all the instruments on the record....I'm not jealous)

Pas Redouble by Camille Saint-Saens is a great piece. I heard it played by the University of Arkansas Summer Music Camp Honor Band, and they did a spectacular job. Nailed the dynamics. It was seriously magical.

House of Heroes' song "God Save the Foolish Kings" is awesome.

The Dear Hunter. That's all I have to say about them.

Take it easy, and I'll keep you updated. If you want to check out my music, go to myspace.com/silenceisimpossible. The third movement is being redone.

Learning

So I got back from Falls Creek about a week ago, and to talk about that week alone I would need a different blog. So many great things happened and are continuing to happen. Praise God.

So right now I'm working on expanding Pt. 2 of the project I'm working on (right now named "To Realize You Can Move".....but I want to change it to something, just not sure what.) and redoing Pt. 3. I haven't even really thought of what Pt. 4 will be, but I'll just have to be patient with that.

What's really going on with me though is that I'm learning to trust. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, etc, but the fact of the matter is, I don't really need to know. I just have to trust God that he's got things lined up for me. Now, that doesn't mean I get to sit on my butt all day and do nothing, but it does mean that if I rely on Him, I'll go where I need to go. It's tough to actually have faith in something outside yourself, especially when you cannot see it. But that's the definition of faith, isn't it?

We'll see where things go from here. I should have my project done by the end of July, so check out my myspace to hear what I have so far. myspace.com/silenceisimpossible

Thanks for all your support.

Jeff

Listening, or at least an attempt at it.

So I'm going to be out of town for a week, which means no creating in the sense of recording. Hopefully while I'm out I can still jam and get some ideas. Whether those ideas come to fruitition or not, we'll see.

Lately I've been listening to lots of music, sermons, and people. Or at least, I've been trying to. The thing that seems to keep coming back to me is the fact that if I try hard enough, there's always a way to get to where you want to go. I do not know where I want to go in life, but I know two things: I want to create music, and I want to love and help people. Right now, I'm not great at either, but I would say I'm more consistent at making music than loving and helping people. I'm great at loving and helping people I know, but not so much people I don't know. Anyways, food for thought.

Be grateful for what you have. If you're reading this, it can probably be safely said that you are in a house (or have a home to live in), you have a computer, and probably even a car. Those are material possessions that somewhere around 5% of the world owns (maybe more own a car, and more live in "homes", some of which are nothing more than little lean-to's). You probably also have family who loves you, and a decent education, and might be pursuing more education. Please remember what you have, and what others don't, and try not to take things for granted. I know, much easier said than done. But we at least gotta try.

I'll be back in about a week. Love you guys, whoever is even reading this blog....

Jeff

Friends and Penguins

So today I finally started working on my music project. I had created parts 1 and 2 and had ideas for part 3. Today I finally sat down and, with help from my friend Braden McMurphy, managed to virtually finish part 3. There are still some things that need to be cleaned up, such as the guitar tone used, possibly adding a bass part, and adding a solo guitar or synth line on top. But the main ideas are there.

If you want to check out this project, go to myspace.com/silenceisimpossible.

My mom and sister just got back from New York, and my mom brought me a penguin. Penguins are my favorite, and I kinda collect them. This one walks. Exciting, I know.

Anyways, I'd better be off to bed so I can work in the morning. Adios

Jeff

Inspiration from Victor Hugo and a clean room

So this is my first post on my new blog, encouraged to be set up by my friend Hailey Ray. The purpose behind this blog is to create an venue with which I can express inspiration and progress in my musical adventure. Hopefully I will not make it a place where I waste time and procrastinate, because Facebook does enough of that too me as it is.

A little about me: I will be a sophomore at the University of Arkansas this fall majoring in Music Education and pursuing a minor in Business with an emphasis on Marketing. I play saxophone, piano, guitar, a tad of drums and bass, and am attempting to learn how to sing (we'll see how that goes), and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, except that I want to be in the field of music.

I have a tendency to be very anal about music or musical preferences, but I am learning that just because a genre has a different style and might seem "simpler" than another genre that I might be more used to does not lessen it's validity as good music. I have come to realize that music should speak to people's souls, and the music that I love does exactly that. Whether it has lyrics or not, my favorite songs and pieces all move me in a profound way, sometimes in ways I cannot describe.

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to remain silent"- Victor Hugo

I am in the process of cleaning my room right now and creating space to set up a small "home studio", if you will, to create music. I am also in the process of learning how to use Logic Pro, so it might be sometime before I get music out there for whoever reads this blog to hear, but I will, don't worry.

I encourage you to listen to music, and especially to listen to music that you are not used to listening to. I am learning that there is great stuff in genres that I thought I wouldn't like. Folk music to be more exact.

Thanks for reading my blog, and I look forward to hopefully maintaining some creative accountability on this site. Thanks for joining on this journey with me. Let's see where it goes.

God bless,

Jeff Payne