Drumming Song

So I made my debut performance on drums this past week. It was a great experience, I really enjoyed it. It was a very interesting experience in that it has been a long time since I've made a performance on an instrument I've never publicly played before. And it was a strange thing in that during the performance I played worse than the practice, but I still managed to stay in tempo and keep the song going. So although I was disappointed in how I played, I was happy that I managed to keep going through my mistakes.

And now I really want to continue playing drums. I enjoy them very much. Ah....jack of all trades, master of none?

Anyway, that's it. Time to go practice.

A Hymn EP of sorts?

So I got back from Falls Creek on Saturday, and ever since I got back I've been thinking of making an EP of sorts of just hymns. Not the kinds with choruses, just the hymn parts. But it will be modern with drums and guitars and such. But I'm also wanting some folksy sound. So right now I'm working on making an arrangement of Amazing Grace that combines the two. We'll see how it actually turns out.

I've only done one evening of actual work on it and I already have basically the whole arrangement down. I think the next step will simply be to clean my room out of mess so I can organize an arrangement to record everything in audio. I'd prefer not to use MIDI drums if I don't absolutely have to.

I also want to use a whole choir of kids from my church's youth group to do some singing for a refrain of the first verse.

I'm really looking forward to how this song turns out. I have the tendency to give up on these things as they progress or things get in the way, but I feel like God has laid this on my heart as a good project to do for Him, so I will pray to him that he carries me through my laziness and any attacks Satan might have on me through this project. Not saying this project is the most important thing in the world, but it is something and I feel like God wants it done, probably to teach me perseverance and also for some kid who might like it.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

Jeff

My Own Accountability

So, I'm updating this more for myself than anything. I want to try to recap this past semester real quick and understand my own strengths and weaknesses, my own successes and failures.

Over the past semester I have had the honor of growing a relationship with a beautiful girl. She is wonderfully made and so beautiful, and the kind of character and determination she has is amazing. The love of God is so evident in her, and I think it's beautiful. I just happen to not be as good as I need to be. I hate realizing that in a way because I feel crappy (which I should if I'm not being the best I can be), but I also have to look at it as an opportunity to grow.

I have been lazy this past semester. I have not practiced diligently, and I have not really composed. I feel like I have mainly skated by this semester, and now I'm going to have to play catch-up. No fun at all. But I haven't done the work that I need to, so it's my own fault.

I have squandered my resources. Time that was given to me to practice I spent watching tv.

But what I ask for is the strength to be disciplined and work out a work ethic that fits me. That I figure out how to the kind of man God wants me to be.

I look at my life, and I see how broken it is, and how much of it just seems fake. And what I want is to have the kind of life God has in mind for me. Because he can give me the strength to work hard, and be ready for opportunities. He will guide me in life and help me make the right choices about career, marriage, finances, so on so forth. I want His guidance, but my probably is I don't ask diligently. And I know what I can do instead of typing this blog is go talk to Him about it.

I guess I'll go do that now.

Breaking the Silence...a bit at least

So I've been getting yelled at by the two people who read this blog every now and then, so even though I don't have much to talk about, here goes.

I officially switched to a composition major with a minor in business marketing. The idea is that I can graduate and either go straight into studio work, or go get my master's in recording arts/composition (It seems now adays to do one (at least in film score and such) is to do the other) I'm really looking forward to how it goes, and I really hope to be involved with ensemble work throughout. Praise bands, jazz bands, etc. Even though I'm not in a jazz band...yet.

I'm gonna be in one next semester hopefully. I don't see why I wouldn't be though.

So in terms of music, the composition I'm working on right now is in the process of being finished. Which basically means that I'm trying to rework it to be more comprehensible than what I had earlier. Kjartan put me on a great idea by keeping the same melody, but changing the tonality to a major key (for Hailey, this means making it sound happy instead of sad).

In other related news, I hope to be working with a girl from my church back home over Christmas break on recording. It'll be good for both of us, because I need to practice of tracking and mixing and etc, and she needs someone who can do that and give her ideas and such for free. (I truly doubt I'm going to charge.)

So on more of a personal note, God slapped me in the face.

I was deceiving myself. I am deceiving myself. I know I'm not done figuring out all my faults. But luckily I have a God who sees all my faults and can help me get through it for me.

I am judgmental. Prideful. Holier-than-thou.

Lustful. Angry. Bitter (for no good reason).

Fearful. Not trusting. Unloving.

I tend to focus on my actions being wrong instead of my heart being wrong. I'm sick of feeling religious like this. I want to love others like God loves me. Why does it seem so hard to do so?

Prayer seems to be the thing that has gotten me there before.

The times I've been consistent in prayer are the times I think I've been more like God. My question now is....why did I stop praying?

I'm very inconsistent.

I feel like I can't keep a conversation with him for more than five minutes, and when I do talk to him, it's like a laundry list of thank you for this, please help with this, please help so and so with such and such, please help me with x, y, and z. Why this, why that?

Right now my God isn't personal to me.

That scares me, because I know he needs to be.

I want Him to be.

If you have the chance to watch lifechurch's newest message, please do so. Called self-deception. Really good. I really needed it.

Let God search my heart, and help me change it.

Experimenting with Andie

I got to have the great opportunity to have the great Andie Schenk play the cello part I'm working on for my little piece. She was great and had some very valuable insight to give.

That's about it for the song update.

Continued writing

So I'm still writing....slowly. But surely.

I'm finding that the creative process is so strange because you 1) have to try to find the sounds you want and 2) you have to be open to making mistakes and sifting through the ones you want to keep and the ones you don't.

This process is really exciting for me, but very hard because when I have the time to do it, I want to be lazy and not do anything. But I realize that I need to push myself to be better, and the only way to do that is work at it.

Ugh.

On some good news, Jenny decided to start up a bloggish type deal and put up the rough draft as her featured song. That's pretty cool. If she doesn't mind I'll put the link out....not that anybody really reads this blog anyways.

I should get back to writing now. Have fun.

Here We Go

So I've started writing again.

I'm really excited about this one because it's the second consistent melody I've ever written, and I love it very much. Mainly because I don't even know what I'm doing half the time (that's a lie, I understand what I'm doing more now than I did when I wrote it).

It's a slow piece in c minor and then it modulates to a G major or something (I'm not quite sure because of some chromatic chords). I'm looking forward to seeing how it comes about. I'm thinking piano and strings mainly right now, and might not add much else besides maybe some percussion. But don't hold me to that, because I'm just not sure.

The melody, when played up high, sounds like a very sad, melancholy music box melody, and I might try to put that into the piece just cause it sounds cool.

I also have Kjartan's 30 second thing to finish, which shouldn't take too long. I'll post both on myspace when I'm done. the 30 second thing will be done first.

Thanks for reading, and I look forward to unveiling more and writing more.